The Glamorous Grind
The Glamorous Grind is where bold legal minds meet unfiltered conversations. Join hosts Ilona Antonyan and Mila Arutunian—powerhouse attorneys at Antonyan Miranda—for this dynamic podcast as they dive into headline-making lawsuits, past cases, and the hustle of balancing career, family, and ambition. With fascinating guests, including celebrities, business leaders, and former clients, Ilona and Mila keep it raw, real, and always glamorous.
The Glamorous Grind
Women Who Run the World
Mila and Ilona raise their glasses to International Women's Month in this raw, unfiltered conversation about what it truly means to be a woman in law and in life. They welcome fellow accomplished attorney Lana Nassar for a champagne-fueled discussion that quickly moves beyond surface-level platitudes into the heart of shared female experience.
"Women all over the world experience the same things," observes Lana during one particularly poignant moment. "You get your period, you show up. You have cramps, you show up. You go through a miscarriage, you show up." This resilience forms the backbone of the conversation as the attorneys share personal stories about overcoming professional obstacles, navigating implicit bias, and making difficult choices about career advancement and family planning.
The discussion doesn't shy away from uncomfortable truths, including the frequent phenomenon of women undermining other women in competitive environments. All three attorneys agree that female solidarity is crucial in a world that already places unique burdens on women. "A friendly reminder to all the women: lift each other up," Mila urges. "It is rough out here. We need to support each other because no one else is going to do it."
From freezing eggs to balance career and family planning, to fighting for recognition in male-dominated spaces, to instilling work ethic in the next generation, these accomplished attorneys offer wisdom drawn from their combined decades of experience. Their conversation serves as both validation for women facing similar challenges and a roadmap for creating more equitable professional environments.
Whether you're building your career, contemplating major life decisions, or simply looking for inspiration from women who've carved their own paths, this episode reminds us all to "follow your fire" and never give up on becoming the best version of yourself. Subscribe now and join the conversation about what it means to maintain both grit and glamour in today's world.
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it's women's month.
Lana:Let's talk some stuff about women women all over the world experience the same things.
Ilona:That's the wildest thing to me either give up when there's a challenge or give it my all to survive this shit.
Mila:Now I'm gonna make it through in life. Your approach to anything is gonna form 90 of your experience I follow my fire and anyone that's looking for a purpose.
Lana:There's jobs, and then there's something that you love doing.
Mila:In the legal field. I've experienced this personally. There's like a bias towards women sometimes, where someone doesn't have bad intentions but they like, don't give you an opportunity because you're a woman. And a friendly reminder to all the women lift each other up, you guys. It is rough out here. It is rough out here. We need to support each other because no one else is going to do it. Okay, amen.
Ilona:Welcome to the Glamorous Grind where grit meets glamour and law is always in style.
Mila:I'm Ilona Antonian, a certified family law specialist and a trial attorney and I'm Mila Arrutunia, a trial attorney who specializes in employment and personal injury law. We are lawyers, friends and your guides to real-life legal drama.
Ilona:Each week, we're breaking down most unforgettable cases, sharing incredible personal journeys and keeping you up to date with what keeps us motivated and inspired.
Mila:So, whether you're hustling to make your own dreams happen or just here for a good story, settle in with your favorite drink, because we are bringing you wisdom, wit and a whole lot of style.
Ilona:It's law it's life, it's the Glamorous.
Mila:Grind. Welcome to the Glamorous Grind podcast. In honor of International Women's Month, we're sitting down just girls to talk about all of the issues that working women face. This week we're sharing the story of an individual who's making a lasting impact A friend of mine and a colleague, Lana Nassar, who is an attorney and an advocate, and we're going to talk about women's issues, including women in the law, obstacles we face and what we can do to counteract some of those issues.
Ilona:So let's get into it and welcome Lana Nassar to the Glamorous Grind.
Mila:It is International Women's Month and we thought it would be a great thing to have another powerful woman on and we can just have a chat about some of the issues that impact working women. Women, women in law, that's right.
Ilona:I'll let you do the honors, sister, and this girl definitely has got the glam because she comes here with a bottle of champagne.
Mila:I love it. I love it, you fit right in.
Lana:All right, go for it Okay.
Ilona:Oh, I thought you were going to hold it. Let's do that. Let's do that. Let's eat you my word.
Lana:Okay, there's nothing like wait, it's going to go in your face. What are you doing? That's going to go in your face.
Ilona:You were about to be soaked. You know it's a glamorous grind.
Lana:That's how we do it. That's what it went like club style in your face. Epic Cheers to women.
Ilona:cheers to women guys, that's a dumb way of opening champagne that was so funny.
Lana:Cheers to you and you, the glamorous grind. Cheers to all women amazing.
Mila:Lana, so tell us a little bit about yourself. Like I know, you practice on the defense side of employment law and you've been in practice for about 10 years, so what drives you?
Lana:I follow my fire. I love that. I follow my fire and anyone that's looking for a purpose follow your fire, because when you there's jobs and then there's something that you love doing I'm not saying I love love being a litigator every day, but I love it. I do enjoy it. I do enjoy like a deposition. Yesterday I had so much fun I was like, wow, this is fun to me, do you want to do a family law, come over to our firm.
Mila:I don't know she's coming to the PI and employment site, yeah.
Lana:All right, yeah, all right. This is what I think. I think that I was a plaintiff's lawyer first. Okay, I loved helping the you know the little guy. I'm a person that fights for rights. I mean, you can look up my cases I've done in the past and that's what I do. I'm a civil rights at heart. But there came a point where, you know, covid hit and I was like I've always wanted to prove to myself that I could work in big law, as they say, and so I did it. You know it's fine. I met Amelia. I met awesome, awesome people.
Lana:Something on the defense side, I will tell you. When I first started, I was like how am I going to like everyone's like? You went to the dark side, right, and this is something that Guillermo shared with me that really resonated and it was Lana, wouldn't you rather be in the boardroom consulting than knocking on the window? And I think about that all the time and I'm like he's right. Like listen, bad things happen and sometimes people are lying. Both is true, right.
Lana:Sometimes I genuinely believe companies are trying to do the right thing majority of the time, but of course, there's bad apples and everything. Believe companies are trying to do the right thing majority of the time, but of course there's bad apples and everything. So wouldn't you rather have me, as a defense attorney, being empathetic and understanding that wait, we may have some risks here Like, let's do what's right by this individual rather than someone that's like just a hard ass? Like I wouldn't want that, and the reverse is true. On the other side of plaintiffs, there's different types of plaintiffs lawyers. There's plaintiffs lawyers that are incredible, and then there's ones where sometimes I don't even know if I should be saying this, but sometimes when, like, I settle a case on the defense side, I'm like that plaintiff's lawyer just sold their clients so short, so short, and it's like that pisses me off because I'm like that person was wronged, but you were a shitty lawyer and you don't care.
Lana:Yeah, you're lazy and you want a quick buck, but on the other side of the coin, there's fantastic plaintiff's lawyers that are getting very big verdict, especially in California, but there's also fantastic lawyers on the defense side, like you know, everyone I work with. They're amazing. They're all amazing people, and so follow your fire. That's my life motto. That's why I started a podcast, because I love it. I love sitting down with people one on one, no phones, and just talking, because I don't think we do that in society anymore, and to me, that's my passion. That is my passion. I love civil rights.
Lana:I love that you're here, I know, and when Amelia texted me I was like hell yeah, let's do it.
Ilona:Thank you for coming. I can definitely see the fire in you.
Mila:I have a lot of passion. You have a spark, that's obvious. So tell us a little bit about your podcast.
Lana:My podcast is called the Lana B Nassar Vision. Join the tribe. I do believe it takes a village for anything, and I think a rising tide lifts all boats and in particular with women. Like let's lift each other up.
Ilona:Like let's not knock each other down.
Lana:Like lead by example. You show love. You show love and you show empathy.
Mila:So let me tell you guys something okay, and I'm like a very in your face person, like I am very in your face. I'm never quiet your face. I'm never quiet, timid, and I get a lot of shit from people and I've been put down quite a few times in my career where people just like come into my face and question me like who the fuck are you? But 99 of the time it has been another woman. It is almost never a man. Every once in a while it's some old man. Every once in a while I do get that, but usually it's another woman, and it happens all the time. Women just don't bring each other up yeah, I agree with amelia, I do I mean, I agree with that too.
Ilona:Women are usually haters of other women who are successful but why? Or who are pretty or who's got something going on. It's a jealousy thing, but I always say because they compare themselves and then I think people forget what it takes to get there, like the effort it takes. Well, that all happens.
Lana:That's exactly correct. That always happens in the silence, right? You know, our world is broadcast positivity. Everyone's page is a positive page, right? And it's like no, you don't understand the struggle.
Lana:Like we struggled, like I struggled, like I struggle, like we struggled, like I struggled, like I failed out of law school, in fact, like I can help someone that's in my shoes, right, you can help someone that's in your shoes, like same with you, like we all have our own journeys and all you can be is yourself yep that's all you can be, and I don't really give a shit if somebody likes you or not.
Ilona:If somebody doesn't like you, they don't like you. It could be a woman, it could be a man, it doesn't matter because you have your own personality.
Mila:I feel like a lot of people do get down on that.
Lana:Do you care if people?
Ilona:like you or not?
Lana:I think it depends.
Ilona:Sometimes I get down when people don't like me, I'm a human.
Lana:Yeah, I get down too, Like I take hard on criticism. She is so strong, she's a divorce lawyer of 20 years, you've seen some shit that I've never seen. Yeah, but there are a lot of lawyers.
Mila:But I I think that, like a lot of people will like post their highlight reels and people just see the results and don't see the work that it takes. That's why I mean I post a crap ton.
Ilona:No, you Well but the.
Lana:Thing is. Today you woke up at 2.59. I did Actually I woke up at 2.45.
Mila:Thank you.
Ilona:By the time I had my coffee.
Mila:it was 2.59. No, but the reason is because a lot of people will see me and they'll be like, wow, you have three kids and you look like that. I'm like, yeah, motherfucker, I work out seven days a week.
Lana:She sure does, but no one knows that unless I post it right.
Mila:So people just assume you're lucky, or they think, oh, you're so successful. Yeah, I wake up at 2.50 in the morning to start my work day. No one sees that unless you say it so like no one has the audacity who, like, follows me on instagram to come up to me and tell me I'm lucky? Because I'm not lucky. I fucking work hard there's no luck.
Lana:No luck is when preparation meets opportunity. One thousand, that's luck.
Ilona:There's no luck I mean I believe I'm lucky in many ways, but I definitely think you gotta take action to make it happen or it's not gonna happen like you may be lucky, but it takes work well, I think, yes, the stars have to align, so you do have to be lucky.
Mila:There's one opportunity my mother-in-law says. She says, you know, on the titanic people were young people, were rich, people were, you know, successful. But unless you were lucky you did not get out of there alive. And that's like in everything in life.
Ilona:You know you have to have some luck to get where you want to get, but a lot of it is work and, I guess, perseverance, because, like when you watch titanic, there's some people who just like, jumped to the boat and rushed right and just like, like, I'm gonna survive this versus those that oh my god, the people that, like, went to sleep with their kids as the boat is going under.
Mila:I can't even watch that part. Yes, I cannot. I have to turn it off. It like fucking kills me. It destroys me inside. Don't have to be sad.
Ilona:I know it's terrible.
Mila:I don't care what you're doing.
Ilona:You fight, but it's a fire in you that does that right. You either give up when there's a challenge or like I'm going to fucking give it my all to survive this shit. Now I'm going to make it through and think positive and like I mean, that's what I do when I have difficult cases, shitty facts. You know, I'm like all right. You know you feel it in your gut. No, I'm going to change this feeling in my gut Because if I let this feeling penetrate, it's going to impact my day. It's going to impact how things are going to turn out, and I'm just going to picture a better way this will happen, a better end, and I don't know. My thing is part of manifestation.
Mila:Your mind is fucking powerful.
Lana:You have to be flexible in your mind. It's the most powerful thing. You have to stay positive. You have to make an effort every day to stay positive.
Mila:Well, and that's the thing that you sent, yesterday, I think, in an email of, like, angela Duckworth Duckworth yeah, it was about grit.
Mila:Yes, and there was a whole study done on it and I watched the TED Talk. The study showed that the people who have the most success in life are not the smartest people, they're not the richest people, they're not the people that are the most highly educated or with the best upbringing, but it's the people who have grit, who are able to like perseverance yes, persevere, overcome. When they hit an obstacle, they see it as an opportunity to fucking pick themselves up and keep going.
Lana:I love that favorite saying in life fall seven times, get up eight. Like I will never give up on myself. I failed out of law school. I failed the the California bar. I'm licensed in three states now I've licensed as United States Supreme Court. Fuck that, and that's how I mean to everyone. Where's the camera? Fuck that. Like I genuinely never give up, never give up and that's why. That's why I started a podcast, so people will see like I've failed. But one thing I'll never do is give up on myself.
Mila:Let's just be fair. Like we all love men too, we do, we love them. They're amazing. We couldn't live without them, could not make babies. Like what would we be without them? But also it's women's month, so like, let's talk some stuff about women and all the stuff that we do, like we are amazing, we create human life. I know we create human life. I know this is like cliche and crazy, but I loved being pregnant because I felt like a superhuman I people hated it.
Mila:I know most women hate it, but to me I don't hear that often. I was a happier pregnant person than I am not pregnant, because people would come to me and be like, how are you doing today? I'd be like like I'm fucking superhuman. I made an organ today. What did you do To me? The entire process is incredible. Granted, I want no more kids. Three is like I'm maxed out but the whole process of creating human life and what we do is crazy to me.
Ilona:I used IVF.
Ilona:So, like you know, it is definitely a miracle and I'm grateful for the technology nowadays and the science to be able to do it, because personally, I was focused on my career and didn't get so lucky in my personal life to start a family early on.
Ilona:Or you know, actually I mean I am lucky because life comes as it comes, you know, and you make the best of it, and I'm happy the way it went for me because I'm ready to provide a certain lifestyle to my kids at this point. As to if I was having family earlier in life, it would be different, probably more difficult, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today as an attorney or be an experienced and seasoned litigation attorney, because when you have kids you can't put in the same amount of hours and time into your work as when you, you know, don't. So I think, as a female attorney, to become real good sacrifices, you can't really have a family early on and I believe in freezing your goodies to do it when the time is right and also not settling for the wrong man just because you know he can be. He can have children with you or you can have children with him, like choose right, you're speaking my love language, sister, I think it's.
Lana:I think everyone's on their own timeline and I think everyone's on their own journey and I think that the power a woman has is in choosing the right person.
Lana:And if you haven't found that person, the best thing you can do, in my humble, un-medical opinion, is freeze your eggs, because I think our society has never told us that. I think people are talking about it now but, like for me, for example, you know I wish I did that at 30 years old Because, as people know, you know you're born with all the eggs right, and so the younger you can do it. Obviously it's so expensive and we I do think our entire system needs to cover eggs, whoever needs to cover it, insurance companies need to cover it, but it is the only real way to find opportunity and choice, choice, the choice of what you want to do and what you don't want to do. You know. Not settle just to have kids, like you were saying, which I'm not saying is a problem, it's just the lack of choice when you can't freeze your eggs, I think is really scary for a woman.
Ilona:Well, I think you know me being Armenian, you are also Middle Eastern, right Like we grew up sort of hearing. You got to get married, you got to have kids and I grew up with grandparents that constantly reminded me that I'm now an old maid and all my cousins and everybody's married with family and I'm, you know, I don't have it all together, although I was focused on my career and, you know, had I gotten lucky with somebody, maybe things would be different. But everybody's life is different. I mean, you can make the wrong choice and I did at one point.
Ilona:You know, I made a wrong choice in marrying a guy, like pretty quickly, because I thought everything was right and when the kind of the dream fell through and I realized I'm not going to have family as I planned, then I immediately went to do the freezing because I'm like, oh shit, I'm now 30. I was 36 at a time. The marriage thing didn't work out and I don't want to just have a family with somebody random like. I want to do it on my terms and I want to freeze my genetic material and, if I get lucky and life happens and I meet the right guy, to have a family with him without having to go the IVF route great. But this is a good insurance to have so that you are not, you don't feel the pressure of a biological clock.
Mila:Nowadays, a lot of employers, like big tech companies, are covering. You know they're getting policies that allow women to cover for reproductive things, including eggs freezing, egg storage, if they opt to do that. Eggs freezing, egg storage if they opt to do that, I think it needs to be talked about because infertility rates are through the roof generally, but especially like people are getting married later, which is actually a good thing, because people are becoming themselves and knowing what they want before they jump into marriage. So you know, I think divorce rate is probably going to be lower in 20 years than it is today and you don't have to be married to have children.
Ilona:Now, many people just have children, that's true, and avoid all the fiduciaries.
Lana:Yeah, I know so many people that have a sperm donor and that's the life path they choose and you know that's empowering Good for them. You know I think you said it right. It's an insurance policy for you as a woman and you know, I think you that I think you said it right. It's it's an insurance policy for you as a woman and you know you have this law firm now and maybe you wouldn't be able to build it the way you built it if you had kids at 25 you for sure, wouldn't.
Mila:What hours were you?
Ilona:working. Yeah, I worked like six, seven days a week and I was there until you know, after 1 am every day and I was there early. So it would not have been possible if I had family or kids.
Mila:I had a moment this morning, yeah, and like I've got three kids now and they all need stuff constantly. And I do feel like and I talked about this on one of our past episodes that like life is a teeter-totter and like sometimes life needs more and sometimes work needs more. But if you're just starting your career and you have a family, it's incredibly difficult to balance that. I mean, even now, like Daniel, on Friday he has like a school lunch and it's a 20-minute lunch. Okay, you go to school and I'll like bring him in and out and I've gone every year.
Mila:And on Friday I'm like I'm really busy, I have a lot going on at work. Like I don't want to take even that 20 minutes because that means I have to work from home in the morning. And he's just like Mom, I really want you to come. You've been coming every year since kindergarten, I'm like. So I have to like wake up at the butt crack of dawn to like make sure I get all my work in, to take that hour off, and I have to work from home and then I have to drive to the office afterwards. Why don't you just work from home? Well, it's like it's hard to get everything done when I work from home and then that break and it's just harder. So like little things like that you have to take into account, and the problem is, the older your kids get, the harder it is, too to balance that.
Lana:So if you have kids later and you're later on in your career and you're more established.
Ilona:It's a lot easier to have that flexibility and you get your partying in yeah I didn't get any partying, you didn't?
Lana:yeah, I have a girlfriend.
Ilona:You know I was in my 20s and cheers to that back in the days, like when I I mean, I went to law school but I also went dancing and, you know, going to clubs and whatever. Yeah, and like one of my girlfriends who had kids early on her 20s would call me, it was living through me because she was stuck at home breastfeeding you know one after another and like our conversations, who are like, hey, do you know what she's, my daughter likes and like?
Ilona:and then I would hear kids screaming in the back. And when you're 20s you don't enjoy that, even if you're, you know, trying to be nice while your girlfriend attends to the children who are yelling in your ear. She's yelling back at them as if it's supposed to be interesting to me and like you know, that was their life now. But now it's kind of reversed. Now their kids are old, they're in college and I'm in the, you know, baby stage. But I don't care, like it's nice. I feel like, whoever however your life works out, just enjoy it. Like you're going to have the blessing of being, you know, still young in another decade when your kids are going to be older. And I'm motivated, although I'm an older parent, like my kids are just one, I'm motivated to stay younger longer, right, because I just have to be so I can be in their lives.
Mila:I'm going to eventually get my partying in, and you guys will be there with me.
Lana:I think it's a blessing when you have kids young, too, because you are going to grow up with your children oh yeah Right. And young, too, because you are going to grow up with your children oh yeah Right.
Lana:And your parents are there, Right Like you have kids, have their grandparents and their lives longer, and so, whichever way it cuts in your life, I think it works out, because what a blessing I wish I had my grandparents alive. Like, oh my God, I know your grandma is still alive, yeah, Like what a blessing. So you know that's your life and you know you're you're, you're Obelia, you are flourishing.
Ilona:I watch you.
Lana:You are killing it and you will motivate me. You are. So you are probably one of those disciplined people I've seen in my life. So if, like women, look at this woman because she you got married at what age? 21. 21 years old Now you're 34.
Mila:You got married at what age? 21, 21 years old. Now you're 34, 34, so like that path is beautiful too. Yeah, it's a different path. I agree, though, like I think every path is beautiful and and generally in life, I think your perception and how you approach, your approach to anything is going to form 90 of your experience. I think both paths have their positives and their negatives.
Lana:I was thinking about this the other day. Women all over the world experience the same things. That's the wildest thing to me. Like you get your period, you show up, right. You have cramps you show up. You go through a miscarriage you show up. You have a child, you show up after a few weeks. Right, you are taking care of your aging parents you show up. Yeah, who men don't have those experiences? That's true. And you show up and you're glamorous and you're have a smile on your face, and it's just all over the world. We are all experiencing the same thing and it's just unbelievable to me the power of a woman.
Mila:It's really truly like remarkable I've experienced this myself, and probably you have too where sometimes you just feel like death for whatever reason, whether it's emotional or physical.
Ilona:Can you call me.
Mila:When you feel like that, please Well, but like when you have kids especially, you don't have the privilege to feel like death. You show up for your kids Whatever they need, If they're hungry, if they poop their pants and step in their poop.
Ilona:You know how time is going to focus on like being depressed. You just got to.
Mila:There's always something to do. Always what my grandma said. Every time I like, get into my head my grandma would be like I had five kids, I had no time to be depressed and like that's not the right approach either. Right Like you should pay attention to your feelings. But we do. We show up no matter what and I do feel like there's this like inherent underlying, like mama bear thing, that especially when you have kids, it forces you to show up no matter what and that's always 100%.
Ilona:You don't show up half-assed Like last night I was working till like 3.30 to 4 in the morning because I had to get a project done that I felt guilty that it didn't get done the other couple of days. Uh so, and then, you know, my baby was up a couple of times at or night, so you know I got about three hours of sleep. So in the morning I drive. My daughter was still my makeup on from yesterday and I I didn't have time to put on my regular shoes, I wore my fluffy pink slippers and we were out of apples and we're out of a couple of things that I needed for the babies.
Ilona:And I'm like, all right, do I go looking like this? What if somebody from my daughter's school is going to see me with, like probably, like I don't know what I have in the back of my hair because I didn't brush my hair yet. I'm like, okay, like my grandma would say, never look like that in public. But okay, fuck it, we need apples and I need to get it out of the way. So the point is that you know, when you're a working woman and you have a family or you don't have family, there's so much things you take care of other than trying to look good to go to work house other than you know, taking care of other people's needs and everything else.
Ilona:they're like little things like that that take up your time and you just get it done. Yeah, you know whatever it takes.
Lana:I mean, if that were a state? Women just get things done.
Mila:We do Just get things done. It's funny we were just talking about this too in one of our other episodes like implicit bias, and what comes to my mind is because I do a lot of trainings on this but there's like a bias towards women sometimes and there are situations in the legal field I've experienced this personally. I don't know, you probably haven't because you haven't had kids, but I'm sure you've experienced other biases but there are certain biases towards moms or parents where, like partners, especially in large law firms, when they're giving out assignments and they could be great assignments but that take up a lot of time or require long hours they'll be like I'm not gonna give this to you because you have a family they say that yeah, like you, you like I know you like to be home with your kids in the evening, so like I'm not gonna I don't want to put this.
Lana:I think they're probably being genuine you have.
Mila:Like you have kids, like I don't, this is gonna take long hours, it has a deadline. I'm like, and me being who I am, I'm like, motherfucker, give it to me. She's like give it, I'm going to get it done. I'm going to get it done better than anyone else, but like that's you know that's implicit bias where someone doesn't have bad intentions but they like don't give you an opportunity because you're a woman or because you have a family, and those are like issues we face sometimes, and I think men face these issues too sometimes. I've actually had cases come to me where men start being treated badly after they take paternity leave, because there's like a whole taboo behind that too, of like men who take leave. They're like why is he not showing up for his work? Like he doesn't need to like take time off, time off to like be with his kid. It's not like he's recovering from childbirth, even though it's protected, and they're not going to say that up front, but I do think that it happens a lot.
Ilona:I think if I didn't have children or if my business partner didn't have children, we would have not seen it that way. But since we did and he had bonding time like we all had bonding time after we had our kids, although not for too long, because we have to get back to work pretty quick I think we respect that, but had if we didn't have children, I do think that there would be that perception like oh, you know, like why does a dude need that time? But when you have kids, you get it.
Lana:Yeah, and I think that a lot of men don't take it. A lot of men don't take it. I think lot of men don't take it, and I think it's a big conversation in America where they're not taking paternity leave because, although they need it, I feel like they feel that they're going to be perceived one way or another.
Ilona:And they are perceived badly. Well, they have a woman at home that takes care of it.
Mila:I mean like, but like, a woman needs to recover and they need to bring a check home, like you know from, especially if there's like a cesarean and you have multiple kids, it's it's hard to like take care of. I mean, when I had my third kid I could not possibly recover from childbirth and take care of three kids like I don't know how women do it.
Lana:That's true. I didn't think about that. It's not even just that yeah childbirth.
Mila:You have other children at home and I have, you know, a four-year age gap between my first two and a three-year age gap between my second two. But imagine kids like you had four one-year-olds at once. Like you couldn't do that on your own. I tried one night but it didn't work out?
Ilona:How do you do it? I'm fortunate that I have help. I certainly am not doing it by myself, because I work full-time, hire three people to live with me, because at night each one takes one of the babies and then I take one baby and I rotate each of the infants so I get to bond with them every night and then I also sleep with my five-year-old. I'm blessed that. I guess I am able to hire help. They're only reason I'm able to do that, because I worked hard for since you know, since I became a lawyer from 2005 to now.
Ilona:I'm going to my 20th year and I, you know, busted my ass for the first. You know 17 years like pretty much nonstop. You know I build almost you know 2,800, 3,000 hours a year regularly, and that's aside from doing administrative work and marketing and everything else it takes.
Lana:I think people are built differently and I think people prioritize things differently, Right, and so I'm more of like you, but probably because we're we're immigrants, right, we have this. Like I'm first generation, you're an immigrant?
Ilona:Were you born here?
Lana:I was born here, so I have this like my parents came here with $500 in their pocket and you know we had to figure out how to put food on the table. So we have that hustle.
Ilona:So okay, since our children are born in the United States, how do we instill work hard mentality in them when you're able to obviously give them things you didn't have as a child? How do your parents do that with you?
Lana:You follow your parents' lead. I would see my dad leave the house every morning at 6 am and come home at midnight for 40 years because he didn't have another choice. And so I always say people say our job is hard, my job is not hard. What my dad did was hard, right, my dad did for 40 years driving into difficult areas and running liquor stores and convenience stores, and that's hard work. This is a privilege. I stress, it's a privilege.
Lana:I do think, like I think you said earlier, though, it's a privilege to be, you know, thinking about what's my purpose, like I'm happy I get to have those thoughts, but they don't have that choice, you know. And so my advice to you is you worked your ass off for 20 years as a lawyer, you know. Make sure your kids see that, because and not that they have to follow your footsteps, but if you want them to get that to the work ethic right. Like everyone always says, how do I get my kid to read? And I always like I listen to all these podcasts about it. They're like read, read in front of them, they'll read. You know, if you watch tv, they're gonna watch tv kids will see this woman here.
Mila:I see not what you say, didn't I tell?
Lana:you right before we started recording. I see your son, son, emulating your steps. Yeah, physically your steps.
Ilona:Her office is so cute Didn't notice it until last week. It may have been there longer, but she has this huge banner on the wall it says work harder. Nobody cares. And everything on her desk is like fuck you, nobody cares. Work harder, work harder, work harder. It's hilarious.
Mila:My kid at least my oldest one does. I think he appreciates that and I think a lot of times when he doesn't want to do something, he does and I make him and I know this is I get a lot of judgment for this but I'll make him listen to kobe bryant podcast, kobe bryant talking and he talks about his childhood and how, like what he did because I and I'm going to get hate for this, but I don't really care. I'm sorry. I think we've lost our competitive edge. I think competition is not a thing anymore and it makes me so angry because I think competition is great, because it makes you better. It makes you better and that's one of Kobe's greatest things that he always talked about is he's like I want to compete with you because you make me want to do better, because you're so fucking amazing, and I feel that way and I want my son to feel that way. I want him to compete. I don't want him to settle for mediocrity, not because I want him to be exceptional, but I want him to be his best self. I don't want him to grow up and be like I just wasted 10 fucking years watching tv for 10 hours a day, like I want him to be like I did this because I loved it. I did this, I was passionate about this, like find his passions and all of those things.
Mila:So Kobe has a lot of podcasts where he talks about how he was growing up and how he sucked at basketball like sucked at it and just worked so hard and was so competitive until he became the best version of himself. And I make him listen to those things and he believes in it. And one of the quotes that we always say. What Kobe says is like rest at the end, not in the middle. And whenever Daniel gets lazy, I'm like when do you rest, daniel? He's like at the end, end, not in the middle.
Lana:I love that though. Yeah, I think I think you're 100, correct, 100 correct and if not, I'll pay for his therapy.
Ilona:Tbd I'll let you guys know something our parents were never into. No, it sounds like you're doing the right thing. Look, he's a guy and like, seriously, it's hard to find men who have good values, family values, and who are driven and do what we're, you know are all about. So thanks for raising a good man over there. We'll see.
Mila:Hopefully, all right Cheers to that, all right Cheers to that.
Ilona:I need more food. Keep going, keep fighting. Oh my God. I need more food, keep going, keep fighting, oh my god, okay.
Mila:Lana, thank you so much for coming and joining us. This was such a fun conversation, and thanks for bringing the champagne. I don't know if our producer will ever let us have champagne again.
Ilona:I'm glad I didn't cause any personal injury on this episode by breaking the glass and you're okay. I know I had to drink from the bottle. There's nothing I love. I'm glad I didn't cause any personal injury on this episode by breaking the glass and you're okay, I know I had to drink from the bottle.
Mila:There's nothing.
Lana:I love more than powerful women.
Mila:To women, powerful women, amen.
Lana:Cheers, cheers.
Ilona:And good luck to all the women out there. Just believe in yourself and when you get down, make a list of all the things you've accomplished when you thought you couldn't or somebody said you couldn't, and remind yourself that it's all within you. You have control over your life and say if anybody gets in your way, get rid of negative people, don't be around them, keep going.
Mila:And a friendly reminder to all the women lift each other up, you guys. It is rough out here. It is rough out here. We need to support each other because no one else is going to do it okay.
Ilona:What an inspiring conversation with Lana Nassar who, working in law and advocacy, is truly changing the game.
Mila:Absolutely. This is proof that one conversation can really make an impact.
Ilona:Thanks for tuning in. If you've enjoyed today's episode, be sure to reach out to us and let us know.
Mila:And don't forget to hit like and subscribe and join in the conversation.
Ilona:And men. We promise you next time it's not going to be all about women and you'll find something interesting too. So stay tuned and stay handsome.
Mila:Keep grinding, keep shining and we'll see you next time on the Glamorous Grind.
