The Glamorous Grind
The Glamorous Grind is where bold legal minds meet unfiltered conversations. Join hosts Ilona Antonyan and Mila Arutunian—powerhouse attorneys at Antonyan Miranda—for this dynamic podcast as they dive into headline-making lawsuits, past cases, and the hustle of balancing career, family, and ambition. With fascinating guests, including celebrities, business leaders, and former clients, Ilona and Mila keep it raw, real, and always glamorous.
The Glamorous Grind
Serving the Servers: How Big Table Is Transforming Hospitality Care
What happens when the people who serve us—restaurant staff, hotel workers, bartenders—quietly fall into crisis?
Nick Petro, San Diego City Director of Big Table, joins The Glamorous Grind to pull back the curtain on a growing, hidden emergency in the hospitality industry. From eviction to mental health breakdowns, workers are often left to fend for themselves—until Big Table shows up.
In this episode, we explore:
- The truth about working in hospitality today
- Stories of real lives changed through compassion
- How Big Table acts as a safety net for those who serve
- Why dignity-driven care is more powerful than charity
- What we can all do to support the servers in our own communities
🎧 Plus, a powerful game of Red Flag / Green Flag and one story that will stay with you long after the episode ends.
💡 To learn more or support Big Table, visit: https://bigtable.org
🎙 Hosted by Carly Antonyan Miranda | @glamorousgrindpod
🎥 Watch full video interviews on YouTube
💌 Rate, review, and share if this episode spoke to you.
Want more glamor during your grind? New episodes every Tuesday. Make sure you are subscribed on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.
Follow @glamorousgrindpodcast on Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/glamorousgrindpodcast/
https://www.tiktok.com/@glamorousgrindpodcast
What if the person who served your coffee this morning is quietly battling eviction, medical debt or mental health crisis?
Speaker 2:We start deploying some resources to help them get from where they are to where they need to be.
Speaker 3:You help with mental health services. This is an incredible organization.
Speaker 2:She was gainfully employed, she ended up in a shelter. She had 325 roommates.
Speaker 3:Big Table is rewriting how we care for workers crisis.
Speaker 1:Today we're sitting down with Nick Petro, San Diego City Director of Big Table, an organization changing lives behind the scenes for the people who make our hospitality world run the restaurant and hospitality industry is built on long hours, emotional labor and low wages, and while we tip for good service, we often miss the deeper needs behind the scenes.
Speaker 2:We help, kind of subsidize, whether it's that month's rent, or get them into a new place, help them with the deposit things like that, but again our resources only extend up to about $1,500.
Speaker 3:Nick, thank you for being here. Can you tell us about Big Table and how did you get started with?
Speaker 2:that? Yeah. First of all, thanks for having me. I feel very comfortable and at home here. Yeah, I actually started with Big Table in January, so I feel like I'm still a little wet behind the ears. I have a long history of development, raising capital, funding for different initiatives and projects. I've had the entrepreneurial bug, I've had a couple of small businesses and I've also done a lot of nonprofit charity work in my previous life. If you will, I was actually exploring the opportunity to come alongside a local nonprofit that has large community impact and when I stumbled upon Big Table, the industry that we support is the largest industry nationwide with the highest concentration of need. I thought who better to fit this role than me at this point in my life? Saw just a tremendous amount of opportunity.
Speaker 3:So how long has Big Table been around and what does it do? We've been around for 15 years.
Speaker 2:Consider us a third party safety net or an insurance policy for restaurant and hotel owners. We actually work with their employees that are in crisis mode.
Speaker 3:So how do the employees get help through your organization?
Speaker 2:One of the only qualifications that have to be met in working with Big Table is that person has to have been employed in the hospitality industry within the last three months. A lot of people that are working in this industry fall below at or below even poverty level. So that person will get referred to us. We meet with that individual. So we have a care coordinator that would meet with the individual and we kind of triage the situation.
Speaker 2:Consider us like the quarterback, usually somebody either a patron or another coworker, that noticed that there's something kind of going on in that individual's life, and so our role at Big Table is to discover that and just have a conversation with that individual, and then, once we find out exactly what they need, then we start deploying some resources to help them get from where they are to where they need to be.
Speaker 3:What sort of resources. I understand you help with housing. You help with mental health services. How does that work after this initial lunch where somebody says I can't afford to pay rent, I can't even afford to share. Have a roommate and share in paying rent. What do you guys do in that situation?
Speaker 2:We come alongside them and can help kind of subsidize whether it's that month's rent or get them into a new place, help them with the deposit, things like that. But again, our resources only extend up to about $1,500. And on a monthly basis rent here in San Diego is far substantial. It's a lot greater than that. So we feel like the impact that we're able to make is helping offset some of those housing costs. And then on the relational care side we meet with them and kind of offer coaching and mentoring and kind of helping that person know that they're not alone. Most people in the hospitality industry don't know that there are additional resources and people to help. So we kind of we meet with them. We earn the right to be heard by meeting that individual where they're at in life.
Speaker 1:When you reached out to me as an employment attorney, I had no idea these types of organizations even existed. I mean, we know there are organizations that help victims of violence or victims of abuse, but these aren't necessarily victims. But, as you and I discussed, these are some of the hardest working people. I mean people who work in restaurants, hostesses, waiters, dishwashers. They work long hours, they work very hard and oftentimes they make a minimum wage that doesn't cover anything. It is important to have some amount of money allocated to these individuals who need assistance, but what's also just as important, if not more important, is resources providing them with tools to learn how to build their lives in better ways, because a lot of times, people who are minimum wage earners are usually not as educated as people who earn higher wages and, as a result of that, they just don't know what their rights are. They don't know how to build and grow and develop, and having those resources and instilling those resources into them is equally as important as giving them the money to get through this month's rent.
Speaker 2:We have no strings attached. There aren't any sign-up fees, there's no cost, there's no obligation to any of our partners. We lead with that and we mean it. So where do we get our funding from? Once we start meeting with their employees and we kind of prove concept that we are your insurance spouse, we are your safety net, and they start hearing from their own employees how they've been significantly positively impacted and how their lives have literally been changed around inside of the workplace, we're starting to see more and more partners come and want to contribute. But sometimes we don't even have those relationships with those owners because that individual got referred by a patron that carry sipping, got referred by another staff or a friend at another restaurant or a quick service restaurant.
Speaker 3:Oh, so anyone from anywhere? If you're just visiting a restaurant, you're talking to a bartender and they're going through a problem, you can just refer them to you and you'll help them. That's exactly right. Their employer doesn't have to be signed up on any plan with you. Is that how it is?
Speaker 1:That's exactly right. I used to represent employers and then I used to represent employees. They want to pay the minimum wages, like those restaurants, don't want to pay more, so they want to retain these individuals who are making a minimum wage. The thing is, generally speaking, from an employment law context happy employees are productive employees. You know, when you have employees who are homeless or living in shelters, they generally tend to be unhappy, less productive, less of a value to the company. So I think, generally speaking, having an organization like that that can assist them will help retain them, keep the employers happy because they can continue paying their minimum wages to these folks, and keep them happy because they feel like they're being helped by their employer.
Speaker 2:We see it from all perspectives. We work with not only the owners, we work with the employees, and we also work with corporate sponsors, individual philanthropists, people that are writing grants that support us as well. But when it comes to the employers in particular, we protect them against frivolous lawsuits. There's a lot of owners that get caught in trying to help their employees by giving them loans right, Like if their car breaks down, they just need a quick $2,500 for a rental car for a month while their other car is getting fixed or what have you so?
Speaker 2:they'll extend a loan and now they'll take another paycheck. That's pretty common in the industry. Now if I own a restaurant and I did that to employee A and employee B found out about it and I didn't extend the same courtesy to employee B lawsuit, They'll call MULA. So we become that neutral party. We have no predisposition, we have no judgment for anybody that we help in the industry across the board. We really, again, we do those two things. We meet the person where they're at. We earn that right to be heard and so we're building trust and bond and we're trying to keep that person employed. Not only that, but we're trying to keep that person gainfully employed and happy.
Speaker 3:What if you meet with someone for lunch but you think they're BSing you Like they're just making it up to squeeze $1,500 out of you? Have you come across those situations?
Speaker 2:First of all, we don't fork over $1,500 out of the gate. So again it's kind of over the term of a relationship so we're able to. Our care coordinators are great and they can kind of call BS on people and that's. I have a 20 year coaching background as well.
Speaker 2:I had a youth and young adult life coaching company that I started in 2005 and that I still have today, and so bringing those philosophy and a lot of the coaching dynamic provide a roadmap for that person to get from where they're at to where they want to be, and so the same coaching philosophy applies in the big table so providing resources, listening to the story what are they dealing with?
Speaker 3:and trying to find someone that can help and reach out to experts that know what they're doing that can target their specific problem above and beyond our capabilities.
Speaker 1:There are a lot of organizations and services that provide services for underprivileged communities and you know, you look at people again who have been victims of domestic violence, people who are poor, people who you know don't have jobs. But it's rare that organizations look at people who are gainfully employed and working and think these people may need help. And you know, as an employment attorney, I can say with full certainty that a lot of them do need help and, again, part of it is just lack of knowledge, lack of education as to what their rights are, how to build, how to grow, how to develop, how to ask for a raise, how to apply to a position that's higher above the position that you have. They may be eligible, they may be in a position for 30 years and not apply for another position, not because they don't want to. They don't know how, they don't know that they can.
Speaker 2:In San Diego we really concentrate and we see it everywhere the homelessness and all the different nonprofits and initiatives and the grants and the funding, and no matter what side you're on with it, it's there and it's in front of us and it doesn't seem to get any better. But if we can prevent that for a fraction of what it costs, once that person is homeless, we literally catch people before they fall, when we move them from crisis into relational kind of care and that mentoring and coaching. In my opinion that's where the aha happens. That's where the beautiful, the magic happens. But somebody has to be willing to let their guard down. We meet with a lot of people that have addiction. That's one of the addiction is one of the highest in any industry. It's in the hospitality industry.
Speaker 1:Now it's time for the game segment of our podcast. Are you ready?
Speaker 2:I love games.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you have two glamorous flags. You see, they have sparkles on them. Oh, cute. And we are going to play red flag, green flag. So Alona and I are going to call out situations and you can kind of ascertain whether or not those people may need some assistance, may need to call your organization. So the first one is someone is always the funny one, making everyone laugh but never opening up about their own business. Red flag or green flag.
Speaker 2:Ooh, I feel like that's a both flag.
Speaker 3:Can I do both?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can do both.
Speaker 2:Why? Because I think if you're funny and you're trying to bring light to the environment, I think that's healthy, especially in an environment that can be super stressful. Often there are people again they're working super hard. They're not getting necessarily rewarded financially what they may feel like they deserve Red flag if their person is constantly joking around, never opening up and there might be some hurt, pain, angst, kind of what we mentioned before. If they're not that person that's ever asked for help before and they're always trying to figure it out themselves. Person that's ever asked for help before and they're always trying to figure it out themselves. Constantly cutting jokes may be a way they're kind of skirting around something that might be going on a little bit deeper. So the red flag could be cautionary. We see that a lot with people that are struggling a lot deeper than just kind of surface level.
Speaker 3:Red flag or green flag, they're constantly picking up someone else's shift, although they already work full time.
Speaker 2:Bam. So there's still something. Whether it's their hourly, their current position, I don't think anything will ever be enough. It sounds like that person probably can't work enough to make what they need to make or what they aspire to make. So I think it's just a band-aid after a band-aid after a band-aid. Eventually that band-aid is going to get torn off. I don't think continually working so hard in that same position, um, it's just gonna end up burnout red flag or green flag.
Speaker 3:The owner of the restaurant takes their tips hey, knock it off. That happened to me doing it not gonna shame on you yeah I was getting paid five bucks an hour and it was a vietnamese restaurant. When I was 15 and I didn't know, because it was my first job and every day she would take half of my tips.
Speaker 1:You're telling me this story and I see so much wage and hour violations, not to mention child labor violations at 15 years old.
Speaker 3:My statute of limitations has run.
Speaker 1:I mean it's hard. I think it's underappreciated that, like the hospitality industry, is hard. These people are on their feet most of the time, if not all of the time, and they're working really hard shifts. I remember when I was studying at USD Law School and I was in law school, I was in the library early in the morning. I was there by six and I was always there late and I remember every time I didn't feel like studying.
Speaker 1:I saw this old janitor she was probably like 75 years old and she was this older, bigger Hispanic lady and I remember looking at her and I was like, if she can work these long hours on her feet, I should sure as hell not be complaining about sitting in this comfortable library chair reading a law book. And it was like my motivation. Every day I saw her and I would smile at her and she was my motivation to like keep studying my books and count my blessings of how privileged I am that I can sit there and read about constitutional law and take a test, as opposed to cleaning toilets when I'm 75 years old. So you know, perspective is is everything.
Speaker 2:It sure is, and the fact that you saw that from that lens is pretty incredible.
Speaker 3:So what's the most memorable story of most impact on an individual in San Diego County through your Big Table efforts?
Speaker 2:Her name's Tiffany. Tiffany had met with our care coordinator, glo, who's been with us almost four years and she'd helped met with this individual multiple times. She was gainfully employed but she, for whatever reason, she ended up in a shelter and, like she likes to say, she had 325 roommates. Now imagine living in a shelter and you think it's maybe there for you're there for a weekend, maybe a week or a month. You fast forward a year, a year and a half. She's still working. She's living in a shelter.
Speaker 2:Tiffany still was a resilient individual. She still met with Glo in that relational care. Glo became her only trusted person that she can lean on, that she can text, that she can cry with, that she can share just the deepest things that are going on and her struggles. Cry with that you can share, just heard the deepest things that are going on and her struggles. And although and us as Big Table couldn't meet all of her financial needs, we were able to meet with her in that relational care and kind of coaching and being that solid person for her.
Speaker 2:She finally found and got accepted into an apartment complex. It was actually a new build and it was the last one for low-income housing in this complex, the last one, and it came down to the wire. She ended getting approved. Glow was there with her and when I met her, she came in the office to share her testimony. We're going over custom talking points for her for this event. Um, she was almost in tears that she was so proud that she can write a check for rent, when most of us like, oh, we don't want, uh, we hate, like our mortgage comes out right, or our rent, and we don't look forward to those, those monthly dues, so to speak, to live. Well, she was giddy, she was laughing, she's basically doing a backflip that she was afforded this luxury now to write a check, to have her own space. And so now some of her friends and coworkers like, hey, you'd come out with us afterwards and we're going to set. Like, no, I'm going home, home, I have my house and my home it's it's my, it's my space.
Speaker 2:I don't have 325 roommates anymore it was just a beautiful thing perspective is everything and it's every story is very, very, very unique. My personal care recipient named Sergio. He works in San Diego County and he is on. He was referred to us and this is the only care recipient that I am working with, currently 65 years old, been married, beautiful wife, beautiful marriage, and here he is trying to retire, you know, in the next few years, and he has children who now have children, and something happened with one of his children and now, for unforeseen reasons, he can't provide for the three children under the age of 15 now.
Speaker 2:So grandma and grandpa step in. They're in a two bedroom, one bath where it was just the two of them. Now he has to care for a 10, 11 and a 12 or 13 year old Three kids living under that roof now, and he's still making the same wage that he was making for the last four years, gainfully employed, just one employee of the month at a really big facility, and his boss referred him to us. I gave him a call, I verified that the information was true, right from his boss, and then I went and met with this individual that he was really brought to tears in our first meeting why'd you make him cry?
Speaker 2:I love to make men cry. He was floored that somebody would take the time to care for him when he's always caring for everybody else.
Speaker 3:Because it's hard for him to be vulnerable, because everybody relies on him.
Speaker 2:He's never, not once in his life, asked for help. He's a proud immigrant that came here, hardworking man, raised his family to the best of his ability, and unforeseen circumstances happened with his own children, and so now he is legally adopting his three grandchildren.
Speaker 3:So how does someone become a partner with you and help you?
Speaker 2:They can visit our website, bigtableorg, and there's a donate button. We are a 501c3. We have two fundraising events a year. The one is a smaller, for only 54 people events a year. The one is a smaller, for only 54 people. It's set for a specific reason. And then our big fundraising event is September 18th. That we're going to do on the Hornblower. So we want that to be a big party. We want to sell out all the 500 tickets for that and we're hoping that we get new people, new partners, new people that want to come alongside us again as a monthly supporter. That would be the biggest help. If anybody listening wants to become a monthly supporter at $5, $25, $50 a month, that goes the furthest. And then, in addition to that, if people want to contribute raffle prizes, hotel stays, you know things like that, then those are all icing on the cake.
Speaker 3:So there was a recent New York Times article that talks about the burnout post-COVID and the hospitality business because they don't get enough support, not enough income. What happens to those who stay?
Speaker 2:People that we work with were significantly impacted by COVID but they're back at work because they want to work. And owners got really impacted negatively by and large in the industry because their staff were cut significantly. A lot of people then didn't come back to work.
Speaker 1:I will touch on just two things. During COVID. What happened? I mean, I think two things greatly impacted. During COVID, I was working for Jackson Lewis, which was a defense company, and we represented employers. And employers were scattering to try and keep up with all of the state and federal regulations that they were required to upkeep for COVID times. And employers were getting hit with all these lawsuits of employees like oh, I'm required to stand in line get my fever checked and I'm not paid for those five minutes. But add that up times 20 employees, that's a lot of money right For like a period of time. So employers, because they were dealing with all of these oversight issues, they caught a ton of people because it just didn't make sense financially for them to keep those people. Thank you so much for joining us. This is an incredible organization. We look forward to working with you, collaborating with you and getting the word out so more people know about the services you provide, can benefit from those services and more organizations can help sponsor your organization.
Speaker 2:It's been a lovely time, Really appreciate you opening your doors and your studio for me to come in and share what Big Table has been doing. Again, I feel like we are just. We laid the foundation and we're just scratching the surface on what's possible and great partners like yourselves and all the partners that hopefully are out there. We're eager to work with you and yeah the more partners we have, the more people we can possibly encounter.
Speaker 1:If this episode moved you check out BigTableorg and consider becoming a care sponsor or nominator.
Speaker 3:It's not about changing the whole system overnight. It's about showing up for one person, one crisis, one big table at a time.
