The Glamorous Grind
The Glamorous Grind is where bold legal minds meet unfiltered conversations. Join hosts Ilona Antonyan and Mila Arutunian—powerhouse attorneys at Antonyan Miranda—for this dynamic podcast as they dive into headline-making lawsuits, past cases, and the hustle of balancing career, family, and ambition. With fascinating guests, including celebrities, business leaders, and former clients, Ilona and Mila keep it raw, real, and always glamorous.
The Glamorous Grind
One Safe Place: Help for Domestic Violence Survivors
If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, abuse, or trauma—this episode could change everything.
This week on The Glamorous Grind, attorneys Ilona Antonyan and Mila Arutunian go inside One Safe Place North County, a trauma-informed Family Justice Center serving survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, elder abuse, human trafficking, and more.
Joining them is Claudio Grasso, former Chief of the Family Protection Division and now Director of One Safe Place, who shares the heartbreaking realities survivors face and how this center provides life-saving wraparound care—including a new pro bono legal services program.
🎙️ What you’ll learn:
How One Safe Place supports survivors with legal, medical, and emotional resources
The real impact of domestic violence on families and children
Why restraining orders and custody help are often out of reach—and how that’s changing
The power of trauma-informed child advocacy and forensic interviews
How generational cycles of abuse can finally be broken
👉 Share this episode—it might literally save a life.
📍 Need help in San Diego? Visit One Safe Place North County.
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We're here in North County at One Safe Place, a trauma-informed center offering wraparound care for survivors and families.
Mila:Today we're proud to announce our legal partnership, bringing pro bono legal services directly to survivors when and where they need it most. We're excited not only to provide legal services, but also get the word out into the community that this type of center even exists.
Claudia:What impressed me the most when I came here were, aside from the facility and all the people that are working here and all the people that are volunteering were the numbers. How many people needed a consultation? How many people came in with? No understanding of their rights.
Ilona:This partnership means, from restraining orders to custody protection. We'll be here present, prepared and compassionate. When I see people who file restraining orders on their own, or it's parties on their own that get denied, it's because they don't have sufficient proof. Although they have it in their phone, they may have it in their email, they didn't know that it's important to present now. They'll help you put it all together to present a strong evidence package for the court. I love that they have everything in one place to get help for yourself and your kids.
Mila:To me, One Safe Place represents a beacon of hope. I have seen victims of domestic abuse stay, not because they wanted to stay, but because they did not know they had an option to leave and if you or someone you know needs help, share this episode.
Ilona:It might save a life. When someone walks into one safe place, they might be fleeing abuse, leaving with nothing but a child in hand. What they need is clarity, protection and immediate action.
Mila:Securing a restraining order, protecting child custody or navigating divorce is overwhelming, even on your best day. Imagine doing that in crisis. If you or someone you know has been a victim of domestic abuse and you don't know where to turn or where to go next, this episode is for you. Thank you for being here. So why don't you tell us a little bit about One Safe Place?
Claudia:Of course, one Safe Place is truly the vision and dream of our elected DA, summer Steffen, my boss, to build this Family Justice Center for San Diego County where we provide services wraparound services for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking, elder abuse, child abuse, even hate crimes and gang violence. It's a one-stop shop and the idea behind it is that victims become overwhelmed and tired and really just lose their steam when they have to drive from place to place to place to get services.
Mila:So why don't you tell us a little bit about your background? I know you were a former district attorney, so tell us about that. How'd you get into that? Well, technically I'm still a former district attorney, so tell us about that. How'd you get into that?
Claudia:Well, technically I'm still a deputy district attorney, so I have been with the San Diego District Attorney's Office for 22 years as a prosecutor, mostly in the Family Protection Division, which prosecutes cases of domestic violence, child abuse, elder abuse and even animal abuse, because there's a big correlation between domestic violence and animal abuse. Interesting, and so I. My last assignment was chief of the Family Protection Division and when we opened this center Summer, stephan asked me to transfer out of the courtroom to run this. It's a passion of mine and I am so grateful to her that she allows me to work in something I'm so passionate about.
Mila:I can tell just from the few instances we met how passionate you are about this and helping victims.
Claudia:Not to get too personal, but in childhood I come from a family, that a very large family. I have 97 first cousins.
Claudia:Oh my gosh, holy moly. My mom is one of 13. My dad's one of eight, and growing up half the family was in Mexico, half the family. We grew up in LA and there was domestic violence. That happened not in my immediate family but in our extended family, where I saw aunts with black eyes, with bruises, and it was always swept under the rug. It was a family issue and it was always. If only you would do this. I would hear my aunt say if only you just oh, it just happens when he gets drunk, just hide his alcohol or you know, just get his dinner on time and it'll be better. And it was always excusing it or victim blaming. And obviously you don't as a child, you don't recognize or you don't really know what is happening.
Claudia:Or it becomes normal Right, normalized a way of life, and so um, and also it's intergenerational. Uh, that is what girls see growing up, and and then the cycle repeats and I have cousins who jumped right into relationships with domestic violence they have have a lot of clients in family law.
Ilona:They leave one boyfriend or husband and then they get into another relationship. And more restraining orders, more domestic violence. And then they have children with them. To make things worse.
Claudia:And it truly is a cycle. I mean, unfortunately, early in my career there were kiddos named in police reports that five, seven years later I saw them as um defendants and named victims in um police reports coming, you know, um and we briefly we briefly talked about this in terms of like childbearing before we started shooting is you know, kids will mirror what they see because that's all they know and that's what they think is normal.
Mila:And you could be in a household like that and try to instill different values in your children, but it's not going to work because they're always going to follow what they see.
Claudia:That is going to become their normal exactly, and that is what love looks like for them with violence, and so they repeat it unless we get in there and break that cycle and teach about healthy relationships and in family court proceedings, when you get a restraining order against someone, the judge has the authority to order a 52 week domestic violence program through the San Diego probate department.
Ilona:Domestic violence program through the San Diego Probate.
Claudia:Department. Do you think that helps people? So we have the equivalent in the criminal law. So every state of California mandates every person convicted of domestic violence a domestic violence related offense that is placed on probation. A condition of probation is to take the 52-week domestic violence recovery program. You know, I think that it works for individuals if they're committed, If they are committed to change, if they're committed to really take it seriously and not just sit there as something they have to do and just wall themselves off. Obviously, if you're not open to it it's not going to work, Nothing's going to work. But if you are committed and open, we have had success stories of families reuniting and successfully without violence. I think it's a lot. The individual, I think it's how much you get out of it. I think.
Ilona:I feel like sometimes people just do it to put a checkbox. They've completed it because in family court there's a presumption that it is detrimental to the best interest of the children for the perpetrator of domestic violence to share in physical and legal custody of the children until they have completed the 52-week domestic violence program and sometimes when they get at least through half of it. But most, or I would say at least half of them still do it again.
Claudia:Also to recognize is many times there are other routes for the violence. There's alcohol that needs to be addressed. Drug use, substance abuse that maybe needs to be addressed. There's trauma. There's trauma that was never addressed and that could be a huge factor too.
Ilona:You mean their childhood trauma they're bringing into their adult life. Yes, therapy.
Claudia:Yes, yes, that never got therapy. They grew up either victims of child abuse or watching. You know trauma from watching domestic violence in the home, trauma that they carry and they carry into relationships and that is never addressed, is it? Ever too late to address it.
Claudia:I don't think so. I don't think it's ever too late. Even so, at One Safe Place we have a grief therapist that when someone in a family loses someone to murder, they come in and have grief therapy, which does that erase or bring someone back? No, absolutely not. But it helps with the learning to live life without that person, without your loved one.
Ilona:Part of what you did before you went to One Safe Place is that you prosecuted child molestation cases. Yes, you said you were very overprotective of your children. Can you talk a little bit about that and what you see and how do you help at one safe place to victims who come?
Claudia:Yes, of course. Yes. I prosecuted many cases of child molest, child abuse, and what I learned very quickly is that over 90% of those cases, the perpetrator is someone the child knows, someone that is in a position of trust, someone that began by grooming the child, by endearing and trusting themselves, you know, with the child, and then the molest started. And so what we do at One Safe Place is we are a nationally accredited child advocacy center, and what that means is when a child well, first of all, we conduct all the forensic interviews for the North County of San Diego, in San Diego if a child 13 and under reports abuse, whether it be physical or sexual, best practice is to have a forensic interview where a trained interviewer can ask the child, in their own development, their own language, their own age, appropriate words, what happened to them, and empower the child to tell us what happened to them so we can build this case against the perpetrator.
Ilona:I remember when you were giving me a tour. For me it was sad to walk through that part of your office because you know that the people who were there came with trauma and it's so nice you're helping them, but just to know that there was a child sitting there that was traumatized by some asshole and now has to carry that with them their whole life, like when you walk into the room, it's impactful. But what I wanted to just say is that you have that forensic room, similar to what they have at Polinsky Center or Radiesse Children's Hospital, right where they do these exams, and you also have detectives on site as well. That document, what happened to them, prosecute Detectives and therapists.
Mila:You have therapists as well, yes, so you're able to do a physical examination, a mental examination, and what I loved more than anything is that you could do it all at once, because there's cameras in the room so that therapists standing on the outside could observe.
Claudia:They wouldn't have to re-ask similar questions that detectives asked, because you know, as moms we all know like you don't want to put kids through that more than you have to exactly, and the goal is that the child will only have to do one interview and that interview becomes the piece of evidence so everyone else can share that information and that child does not have to sit through multiple interviews. And that's just the first step of the journey. Once that happens, then the healing starts, and it is, and then we offer therapy for children, specifically for children with trauma, impacted by trauma, and everything you do is free, right? Yes, everything is no cost, and that's the goal. We have 110 partners at One Safe Place, including us Including you, I love it.
Claudia:And with a caveat that everything is no cost for our victims and their families.
Mila:So I think to me, the most powerful thing about the center and there's so much beauty in what you guys are doing, it's so powerful but it's that it provides a voice to people who otherwise would be voiceless.
Mila:I think that one of and I also in my family there was domestic violence, and I also in my family there was domestic violence. And I think a lot of times especially women, especially if they're not the breadwinners in a relationship or maybe they have no income they don't see a way out. They don't understand that there is a way to walk away from it and still be okay. They think if they walk away, their lives are going to fall apart and they're going to be left with nothing and their kids will be hungry and they'll have no resources. They'll be out on the streets and one safe place is a place where, literally, they can go, get free services, file a police report, get a restraining order, like you guys even have a virtual courtroom where they can go in so that they don't have to face their attacker and, with an attorney's assistance, get a restraining order against them so they don't have to see them again.
Claudia:First and foremost, there are so many barriers for women and men leaving an abusive relationship. Financial is probably the biggest, but there's also cultural. There's also family pressure, pets not wanting to leave your pets behind. There's so many reasonings why people don't leave. Also, statistics show us that people leave an average of seven times and go back and forth before they actually finally leave Again. Because and that's where providing services that are non-judgmental, that are dignified no one in our center will say, well, just leave, why are you going back? I mean that's not helpful because everybody's situation is different. Now, yes, we provide wraparound services that are needed when you leave.
Claudia:Housing is probably the biggest. Where will I go? Where will I take my children? Now, san Diego County, we're very fortunate that we have housing that's specific to domestic violence victims, specific to human trafficking victims, where they're not mixed with a homeless population. And these homes, these shelters, are dignified, are beautiful, invested in a homeless I'm sorry, a domestic violence shelter called Casa Mariposa, where it's solely referrals from the two family justice centers your safe place and one safe place. So Summer Stephan, again in her wisdom and compassion in seeing this, that's where we are building our bridge housing. So it's not a shelter. It is kind of a temporary, short term place where someone can go again dignified, beautiful, it is a wonderful space in while they wait for a shelter bed if there is none available.
Ilona:You say shelter bed. Let's say it's a woman with two children that wants to escape a home where she's suffering domestic violence. Is she going to get a bed or a couple of beds for her children that are surrounded by other strangers, or is there going to be a room with the bed? Yeah, and.
Claudia:I'm sorry. I say beds because that's how shelters count. You know how many they can house. Every shelter, every domestic violence shelter, has private rooms. They are actual rooms, like, for example, our bridge housing in Casa Maniposa, and others have rooms with two, three beds. Casa Maniposa, for example, has two sets of bunk beds. So, yes, a mother and her children can go there and the families stay together. Our bridge housing, each room actually is interconnected so if it's a bigger family, they can stay connected. So, yes, I say beds because that's how we count them, but there are housed within bedrooms. Again, that provides access to their bathrooms and storage space and what they need until they can get back on their feet.
Claudia:And once they are in a shelter, it's not the okay, you know you're here and then you have to leave. It's the now. The continued services, continued case management, continued therapy and continued okay, let's. How can we get you to stand on your own two feet? Let's see opportunities for employment, opportunities for benefits and to transition into that either transitional or permanent housing that can help not have to go back.
Ilona:Can someone who makes a good living seek services, although they can afford to get them elsewhere on their own.
Claudia:You make a wonderful point that domestic violence does not discriminate. It happens to everyone. It happens to the wealthiest, it happens to the poorest, it happens to every race, every class, everyone. It impacts everyone. We see that multi-generations teen dating violence in our elderly. It does not discriminate.
Claudia:At One Safe Place, no, there is no barrier as to who can access services, because, yes, somebody can have a good living or somebody can come from a family of means, but maybe their entire assets are frozen by the other party or they just can't navigate. Many times we do get women, and it's mostly women. We recognize that men can also be victims. But at One Safe Place, about 70% of the people that walk through our doors are women and their children. About 70% of the people that walk through our doors are women and their children victims of domestic violence.
Claudia:We get women that are attorney, realtors, professionals that lived with the violence for so long for shame for again just feeling that sense of I could not make it work, that it was my fault, the lack of self-worth, self-dignity that comes with being abused for so long. And when I say abused, it's not just physical. Domestic abuse can be psychological, can be sexual, can be verbal, can be financial. There's so much that goes into an abusive relationship, not just the violence, and yes, anyone can come into One Safe Place to get services.
Ilona:How do they get started? Do they call a phone number and how does the assessment work for you to determine what services they need?
Claudia:One Safe Place is open from 8 in the morning to 6 pm at night, monday through Fridays, and Saturday mornings from 8 to 12, the first Saturday of every month. We are purely a walk-in basis, so anyone can walk in whenever they are ready. We do that because you never know when you're going to be ready. You never know when someone is going to have an incident of violence and need to leave right away and go to a center where they can get help. We even have law enforcement officers that from the scene of crimes, bring victims to us from incidents that just occurred. So we are a walk-in basis and people walk in and the first thing to do is an intake. In that intake we do two things we do a safety plan and we do a needs assessment. Safety plan is first and foremost.
Ilona:Is safety plan the one that's through child welfare services, only if they have children, or safety plan even if they come without children?
Claudia:Safety plan is for everyone and safety plan looks different depending on your situation. So for us, in an instant, if somebody comes in victim of domestic violence, the first thing we ask is do you think anybody followed you here? Let's you know. Let's turn off our phones. We give out Faraday bags. Faraday bags are bags that disable electronics. So if somebody puts any electronic in that bag and seals it, it loses its complete ability to be tracked.
Claudia:For anybody to find someone, rda investigators routinely sweep cars for trackers. We've had kids come into one safe place and tell us oh, my daddy got me a new bracelet and there's a tracker on the bracelet. So stalking has become so sophisticated, and so that's first and foremost to to block that ability for that victim to be found. We also focus on strangulation. If somebody comes in, if a woman, a man, tells us that they were strangled, that increases the risk of homicide by 700%, and so we have to make sure that first of all, they get a medical exam to make sure that they're okay, but also to talk about the increased risk.
Claudia:Because, if you think about it, strangulation is such a personal form of violence. You are looking at someone in their eyes and you mean to do harm when you are strangling someone. And then another thing we focus is obviously firearms. If somebody has been threatened by firearms, that of course increases the risk just astronomically. And so we have had instances where we find out, for example, the perpetrator is bailing out in that moment they're getting, they have access to firearms and that victim needs to get out of San Diego County and we have the ability to send them. You know, if they have a family structure in another state, if we've also worked with shelters in other counties to place them outside of San Diego County because the risk is that high. So that's the importance of measuring the risk and making sure that we have that safety plan before we do anything, before any services.
Mila:I have a very logistical question. Just because I know that victims of domestic violence it could be domestic violence, that's not a criminal act, like you know financial abuse or emotional abuse can a person take their children and leave their family home and bring them into a shelter if their partner has not committed a crime like? Do do the other partners ever come after them to try and get the children? I would assume that they could probably call the police and say my wife or my husband took my kids and left. How does that?
Claudia:work. So domestic abuse, yes, has looks very differently. You know you can have psychological, you can have verbal, you can have financial. Now, as far as what is a crime, it's nuanced, it depends. Obviously every violence is a crime. Under domestic violence, financial abuse, I mean code section for child abuse, even a misdemeanor, child abuse 273AB, that says emotional stress to a child. You know that can be a crime if you're causing trauma to that child. Now, verbal abuse can cause trauma to a child.
Ilona:Should we prosecute under that code section?
Claudia:So we do. We do charge that in conjunction with domestic violence. When we have domestic violence, a lot of people, you know a lot of victims, will say, well, the children weren't hit, you know, but they were in the room sitting there watching this violence between their parents. Let's just give that for an example Hearing the screaming, hearing the yelling many were clinging to their mom's legs where all of those things are watching that they're crying. That is emotional trauma, that is emotional suffering and yes, we add that that code there for for children. Now, one thing about One Safe Place is you do not need a police report or you do not need to report to police in order to get services, and so that is not contingent about it. So if someone comes to us and says, look, I need services, I've been a victim of abuse, but I don't want to report to police, I don't want law enforcement involved, we honor and respect that.
Ilona:And you also mentioned that you help people regardless of their immigration status. Can you talk about that?
Claudia:Yes, Immigration doesn't even necessarily come up. You know, we do not ask your immigration status, we don't ask race, we don't ask those questions. When it does come up at our center is if a member and we call our victims members they're looking through our menu of services and they can see that we have immigration attorneys on site that help with U visas, T visas those are visas that are connected to victimization. A T visa connects itself to human trafficking victims. If they were labor or sexually trafficked, they may qualify for a visa. So we have those immigration attorneys that may help with those. The Mexican consulate is a partner at One Safe Place and they have wonderful programs for nationals that provide services. Or, for example, a form of abuse is to take all of your partner's documentation, because that is just a form like well, you don't have anything that proves who you are, so that means I control you. In the end, domestic violence is about power and control, and so having our county partners, having the Mexican consulate, can help with obtaining documentations that have been taken away.
Ilona:What other partners do you have under your?
Claudia:roof. So with 110 partners, we have so many services that we can provide. I would say the top five needs that we see coming in and out are restraining orders is probably the number one people needing restraining orders, connections to shelter, food, clothing and therapy.
Ilona:Oh, you showed us you have a nice shop there too. Yeah, you can talk about that, yes, of course.
Claudia:So we routinely get families that arrive to us with just the clothing on their back. They left the situation that day, or an officer brought them to us because the safety reasons to us, because the safety reasons, and so what we do to help them when they go to a shelter but really have nothing, is we are able to provide them with seven days worth of clothing. We also have keep hygiene backpacks, so backpacks with shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, everything that a woman or a man or a child would need to get started. In our donations room we also keep diapers, wipes, formula, all those things for babies, for children, and toys and toys and blankets.
Claudia:It's especially hard for a child to have to leave everything behind. So, via our partners, they provide books, they provide blankets. Does that make it all better? No, but at least children can go to a shelter, to their new place of stay, with something that they can call their own.
Claudia:Now, our boutique. I sometimes refer to it as our dignity room, because that is a place where somebody that comes in that has been stripped of their dignity, of their self-worth, because of just long-time abuse, can come in and choose a pretty dress, a nice handbag, nice shoes. And our case managers routinely say you are worth this, you are worth this suit for your job interview, You're worth this prom dress. We see girls at the center, high school girls that are victims of teen dating violence and again would not be able to go to prom. But for us, you know, providing a dress for them, Easter dresses for you know, dresses for children that mamas can come and get. So it's a boutique of dignity that really sends that message you are worth it, you matter and we are here to help you on that journey.
Ilona:And you mentioned teen dating violence. When you were giving me a tour, you explained that teens from high schools that are in domestic violence relationships with their boyfriends or vice versa, can come to you and not involve their parents but get help Right how does that work?
Claudia:Yes, so in the state of California anybody over the age of 12 can get services without parental consent. Now, when teenagers come to our center, we establish first that they're safe at home, right, because the abuse is happening at school or outside. So we see high school, the majority high school girls. We also see college kids. We are sandwiched in between Cal State, san Marcos and Palomar College, so there's victimization that can happen and does happen on college campuses, and so they too can come and get services with us.
Ilona:What are the examples of types of things?
Claudia:that they come for to get help. Therapy. Therapy is probably the number one. Restraining order is another one to provide service so they can stay away.
Claudia:If somebody is granted a civil restraining order Now, that person cannot get within a football field just 100 yards from the victim and that just gives them a sense of comfort. However, with a restraining order, we highly recommend always having that safety plan. And we talked about that safety plan because in the end you know a restraining order is that piece of paper. But if you don't have that safety plan and what do I mean by safety plan? Things that you can do like carrying a phone with you at all times. So if something does happen, if somebody is violating the order, you have a way to call. Another way that we say safety plan is have that safety word with your friends and family. Safety plan is have that safety word with your friends and family, because if you get cornered, if your phone gets taken away in an incident, somehow you can have you know somebody text, or you can quickly text a code word that doesn't say help, doesn't say but your family knows. If I see that word, I'm calling the police right away or your neighbors.
Claudia:For women that still are in that relationship with their perpetrators or there's a risk of the perpetrator finding them. We always say you know. If you drive a car, make sure it's always full of gas, make sure that you make copies of all your documentation in case that gets taken away. Make sure you have some cash that is set aside or with a family member in case you need to leave right away. Teach your children to call 9-1-1. Let them know you know, teach them what is 9-1-1, you know a source of help and teach them how to call should the situation arise to that level. Another thing we say you know, don't wear anything around your neck that can be used to strangle you. So many of those you know tips for women and men. That can be either they're still living in that situation because they're still in that household, or there's a danger that the perpetrator can come find them.
Mila:A lot of people don't know that this exists, that these services exist and that they can receive services for free. I mean, we're so incredibly honored to have the opportunity to work with you and help provide services, and we think this is a great opportunity because we're kind of a unique law firm and that we can provide family law services and employment services and potentially, personal injury consultations as well. So, alona, you want to talk about kind of what we'll be doing with that, sure.
Ilona:We're going to be providing consultations to victims of domestic violence or anyone needing divorce. I think we're going to be on site once to twice a month. Anyone needing divorce I think we're going to be on site once to twice a month. You're going to schedule those people for us to just come and do the intakes and guide them through the process of what to do, strategic advice and what forms to prepare, what evidence to gather. When it comes to physical abuse and they're going against someone who has financial resources, we can also assist them potentially with a civil lawsuit against them for assault and battery to get an award of damages for them or their children that could potentially be secured against the family law proceeding if they're dividing assets or just collected.
Claudia:We are so grateful because that is a huge gap. Our on-site attorneys help with restraining orders but we habitually get asked okay, I have a restraining order, but now I need to file for divorce. How do I do that? Where do I even start? I mean the legal. Just going to the courthouse is so overwhelming and daunting for many and saying, okay, I share a child, now he's my abuser. Does that child have to, you know, still see him or her? So all of those questions that obviously I'm not a family law attorney and our attorneys specialize in the restraining orders, but that has been a huge gap. At One Safe Place, just having that orientation and those consults to say you're going to be okay, this is, you know, the process to get started. So, thank you, thank you so much for providing that.
Ilona:And from the attorney's perspective, I think it's great that you have everything in one place, because if you have a victim of domestic violence, you have them right there.
Ilona:You guys can help them pull all their photographs or any evidence and videos from their cell phone to support their restraining order, to prepare lodgment and exhibits, so the court can have everything at once and it was a credible claim. And then you have child welfare services right there on site and they can go and get paperwork from them, including, you know, safety plan that TWS may prepare and other resources. If they've been referred to a therapist, then you can obtain documentation that hey, I put my children in therapy or I'm in counseling for this. So there's a lot of paperwork and supporting evidence that victims that come to your center can get right there on site, even if they don't have access to a printer or computer. You have everything they need there and attorneys can just help tell them get this, get that, and you have people on site that will help them print it and put it together it and put it together.
Claudia:Those are all important issues that they would not know, you know, but for having attorneys that can sit with them and and say, okay, here's the list, here's the checklist and then we can help.
Mila:A lot of people don't know what their rights are and you know, that's why we're also helping on the employment side we were talking. A lot of people don't know that if you are a victim of domestic violence and have to take time off work to get a restraining order, go to the hospital, go to a shelter and get new housing, all of that time is has to be protected, leave under the law, and a lot of people don't know that this is protected. So maybe they don't show up at work for a week and the manager just fires them instead of asking them what's going on.
Ilona:That is illegal and what I mean if they, of asking them what's going on. That is illegal, and what I mean if they're asking them. Is it the manager's duty to ask, or is it the employee's duty to report and then for the employer to accommodate?
Mila:well, the the employer needs to try to find out what's happening. They can't just especially most of the time if there's domestic violence going on with an employee, the employer has some knowledge that that's happening. So there should be some type of inquiry before a termination. I've had cases where the employer kind of the managers knew that there were issues with the husband. The wife left and you know she was trying to hide, so she didn't come to work for a few days and they just fired her. Instead of trying to reach out to her, they just fired her and on the termination documents said no show. And then we found out that the supervisor had knowledge that her husband abused her and beat her and they didn't even ask and they just fired her and you know that case ended up resolving.
Mila:But those are rights that they have. Similarly, if an, if an employee has PTSD because of abuse that they endured and it's affecting their work, and the employer writes them up when they know that this person has been abused and has emotional issues because of it, rather than making any effort to ask them if they need an accommodation of some sort, that is illegal. So all of those rights that people have, a lot of times they don't know about. So all of those rights that people have, a lot of times they don't know about. A lot of women don't know they have ptsd, or maybe they know but they don't know that the effect that it has on their work quality may be protected and it's not necessarily a performance issue, they just need to be treated. We're super excited to work with you to make sure that everyone gets the services that they need there as well. So are we. We're very grateful for you thank you.
Ilona:Hopefully we can help more children and families on their path to recovery.
Mila:Yeah, I'm sure you will thank you thank you so much for joining us today, to every survivor watching, we see you, we fight for you and we believe in your second chance.
Ilona:If you want to support, volunteer or donate, visit onesafeplacenorthorg and if you or someone you know needs help, share this episode because it may save a life.
