The Glamorous Grind
Where grit meets glamour, and the law is always in style.
Hosted by attorneys Ilona Antonyan and Mila Arutunian of Antonyan Miranda LLP, The Glamorous Grind delivers bold conversations at the intersection of law, lifestyle, and mindset.
Each episode features riveting stories from inside the courtroom, celebrity interviews, and real-life legal battles that shape lives and headlines. From empowerment and entrepreneurship to manifestation and vision boards, we explore the hustle behind the glam with fearless insight.
No topic is off-limits! Expect unfiltered talk on relationships, mental health, success strategies, and building your legacy.
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The Glamorous Grind
Divorce Buddies: Healing and Friendship After the Breakup
Divorce can feel isolating — but connection is the cure. In this heartfelt episode, Ilona and Mila talk with Arielle Fuller, community builder and relationship expert, about her new Divorce Buddy System. She's pairing women who’ve been through divorce with those currently navigating it.
Arielle opens up about her own story, the rise of loneliness in modern life, and how vulnerability and courage can rebuild confidence from the inside out.
This is an episode about healing, friendship, and rediscovering who you are.
Segments: Red Flag/Green Flag | Legal Decode | Glam Tip of the Week
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🎙️ Hosts: Ilona Antonyan & Mila Arutunian
📲 Follow us on IG: @glamorousgrindpodcast
I want to create the thing that I wish that I had when I started my own divorce.
SPEAKER_00:They need connection and maybe they can't get it from the circle around them. Partner them up with a buddy who can tell them, like, I went through this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Divorce can feel like the end of everything.
SPEAKER_01:Your marriage, your stability, even your sense of self. But what if it's actually a beginning? What if the one thing you need most isn't a lawyer or a therapist? It's someone who's been there too. Welcome back to the glamorous grind, where ambition meets glam, and today, heartbreak meets healing. Today's topic hits close to home for so many going through a divorce, but it's not just the legal side. How do you rebuild when life falls apart?
SPEAKER_00:Our guest today, Arielle Fuller, is a community builder who believes no one should have to navigate divorce alone. She is the chief relationship officer at Parlay House and the Chief Wingwoman at Pitcher Friend San Diego, two communities all about connection and confidence. And now she's launching a new program that pairs women who have gone through divorce with those currently going through it, creating what she calls a divorce buddy system.
SPEAKER_01:We're talking about resilience, community, and how friendships can be just as powerful as therapy.
SPEAKER_00:Well, thank you for being here today. Of course. Thank you for having me. This is fun. I'm super excited to have you. I mean, the second I met you, I loved your energy.
SPEAKER_02:So, what do you do? Pretty much everything I do has to do with building community and creating containers for people to practice their courage and their confidence. So, in one place that looks like a women's group where we get together every month, all different ages, all different topics, and just have real talk, right? No networking, not a support group. It's just like, let's talk about some real shit. Can I say shit? Yes. Okay. Let's talk about some real shit. The other thing I do is I run something called Pitch a Friend, San Diego, where wing people pitch their single friends to lively audiences at bars, breweries, wherever, Shark Tank style with a PowerPoint presentation to basically help them find new connections, romantic, friendship-wise, all of the above. And then, as Mila knows, but a lot of people don't know, I'm also starting a new nonprofit for women who are starting to get divorced to match up with a buddy. You can think about it like a buddy or a mentor to help them through the process. How did you get inspired to do each of those individual projects? I've always had, you know, not even a curiosity, an obsession with people and like what makes them tick. And I've always been very interested in how can I help people feel their very bests, put themselves out there and sort of find their candor, if you will. I am obsessed with candor. It's kind of an old word. It's honesty with warmth combined. I want to help people find their way back to that because I think that's really been lost through the angle of rising anxiety and social media and come, you know, comparing ourselves to everybody all the time. I got inspired when I saw what demonstrating vulnerability can do. If you go first, you say the thing, you be real first, you get out of the autopilot of, how are you? Good, how are you? Good. So I like to answer those kinds of questions. How are you? With uh I'm like a seven out of 10, my outfit killer, but I have like a little bit of like congestion going on, so I'm not loving that. And you sort of come to life and you can see it in people's eyes. Just like serial killers love to see the light leave someone's eyes. I like to see the light into their eyes. They're like awake.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it's important. I I agree with the rise of social media and comparison. I think not only do people not want to be vulnerable and share their authenticity, but I think a lot of people struggle to know what their authenticity is anymore. Yes. Because what is actually you versus what you're trying to project to the world because you think that's what people want to see or what they expect of you.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, in the divorce situation, this pattern that we have fallen into socially to let me engage with you and behave and respond in ways that will make sure that you like me instead of let me just tell you who I am and really answer honestly to see if we work, to see if there is a good connection here, no matter what type of connection. That has led us, in my opinion, to the real crisis that, you know, there's a loneliness epidemic going on. There's no argument there, the data's there. But what I think is actually causing it is this crisis of confidence and courage. Because we don't have the confidence and courage to be ourselves anymore from the get-go. I think a lot of us find our way there, but it wastes so much time. It lands us into inauthentic connections, which then makes us even lonelier because we're like, I have this friend, I have this guy I'm dating, you know, nothing's wrong with them. Like, why do I still feel like not seen? Why don't I feel that sense of belonging? And it's because the foundation wasn't built on who you really are.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it seems like a lot of things you're doing are in person, once a month women women's meeting. Then you go to this event and you speak in front of uh men and women and may make a romantic connection. Yeah. That will may lead to text messaging and other forms of non-personal communication. So which could then lead to feeling lonely because that's how dates work, right? You go on a date and it goes great. And then you get a text message three days later and no response because everybody plays games. How is this any different?
SPEAKER_02:It's not dissimilar to when, you know, I don't know. Have you ever been on like a retreat or like gone to some amazing thing outside of your normal day-to-day life where all of this inspiration, all of this belonging, like all of this connection, and then you, you know, you're so inspired and like everything's gonna change, and then you come back to your day-to-day life and you're like, oh, I'm like right back where I was. You have the same pressures, you have the same group of people, the same questions coming at you, the same comparisons, whatever you kind of left for. And this is where I think the courage comes in. So tapping into and activating courage-free people is it it's actually uh the way that it works in our brains neurologically, Andrew Huberman figured this out with research at Stanford. It creates a circuit. So every single time you do one act of courage, no matter how small, maybe for someone that's saying hi to someone walking their dog, maybe for another person it's smiling at someone they think is cute at the bar. Maybe for another person it's approaching a woman and saying, I think you're gorgeous, I'm really nervous to talk to you, but I really want to introduce myself. Whatever the level is, it makes you more courageous the next time. And it's a muscle that you can learn and you can build, and it atrophies when you don't use it. And that's where we're at right now. Massive social atrophy. So the courage that happens, that sparks at the in-person events, this is my hope, this is what I'm trying to do, continues. If they can just do one more, and you know, they get hit with the newsletter. Here's your courage challenge for the week. And then, you know, I'm just I'm always trying to encourage people like you can do this, keep that circuit going, it'll get stronger. And then they're doing it on their own, even in the digital space.
SPEAKER_01:So it's like a microhabit, small step, one at a time, and then they're better on the other.
SPEAKER_00:I want to say one thing that I learned recently that I think is so important, and it opened my eyes, and it's something so simple, but it's not easy, right? And the simple versus easy. Different. It's the f I used to think that people were just walking out there just courageous. Like people are just walking around like, I've got balls. I'm gonna come up to people, I'm gonna do what I want, I'm gonna go for everything I want. Yeah. And then one day I realized that people can train. There are people who are born courageous, that are born knowing who they are and have just no insecurities about it. And then there are the rest of us who are terrified of and they're not courageous innately. And I learned, I heard a quote, it said, courage is not the absence of fear, but it's having fear and forcing yourself to move forward anyway. Yes. And I think that ties in to the Andrew Huberman finding that it is a muscle. Yeah. And you force yourself, and the first time's really hard, the second time's hard, but a little bit easier. Yes. And then as you move forward, it becomes part of who you are, and you become one of those people that people see and they're like, wow, she's so brave.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know. We built ourselves to be this way. Right. And you know, I think whatever you're talking about, courage, wealth, success, anything you want to, like fitness, everybody's jealous of the thing, but nobody's jealous of how you got it, right? Like, I think if you ask people, well, here's what it really looked like, here's how long it really took, here's how much pain and discomfort I had to face and go through, here's how many times I crashed out. Would you want to trade this journey? Here's how many parties I just sacrificed, how many dates I didn't get to go on, how many wrong, whatever it is. And most people are like, no, no, I don't. Yeah. Actually, I'll just take the win.
SPEAKER_01:And it's like I think that comfort level though depends on your audience because all of us are comfortable around certain people that we've either grown up with or special relationships we have, but to go and be vulnerable to the public, or you know, like go and do press conference like you do, right in front of the police department. Not everybody can do that. Like you have to really like practice and bring it, but anyone can do it. It's just being comfortable what audience you're talking to and what about.
SPEAKER_00:I think the hardest part about loneliness and depression and anxiety is that when you are in it, you literally have to physically or mentally step outside of yourself and understand what you're missing is connection and not get caught up in the negativity that comes with it. Because I think that's what causes disease is the negativity, and the constant negative thoughts. It's you're focusing on what you lack instead of what you have, and you can't even create the connection because you're so in the dark. It is so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. And that's why I think your idea of having people who are going through divorce, yes, who they probably are not in the place where they're ready to feel vulnerable in front of their family and their friends who probably know their spouse, yeah. Um, and they need connection, and then maybe they can't get it from the circle around them. So partner them up with a buddy who can tell them, like, I went through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
SPEAKER_02:I want to create the thing that I wish that I had when I started my own divorce. And that is, I would like to have non-legal support from somebody, another woman who's been where I've been. And the reason I say that is because I have so much support from my friends and my family. It's there. But none of them have gone through, you know, I'm I started getting divorced at 30 years old, and none of my friends have done it yet. And so I didn't really have anybody to relate to or help me navigate the non-legal side of divorce, which if you've been through it, you know it's I mean, it's like another full-time job. It's day-to-day, it's a roller coaster, it's super confusing. And I come from a law family. Like I get the law, I know the system. Nothing surprising or scary to me. I'm not afraid of attorneys. These compass. Um, and even for me, I mean, it's incredibly complex. And there's a lot of really hard decisions you have to make in the midst of like the worst period of your life for a lot of women. Even when you're the one who filed or you're the one who wanted it, it's still incredibly difficult. I'd like to begin with basically a buddy matching system where you get a buddy who is a woman who has been divorced. She's done with her divorce, she's not in it anymore, she's completely finished, and in the same state that you have been divorced, because this is something in my own case, I've had to learn the intricacies of different states. And so um, it's emotional and day-to-day non-legal advice and support. So they're there to make you exactly what you said, Mila, to help you keep your resilience up, stay in it. Because the statistic that haunts me is that most women regret the way that they sign their settlements because they're in sort of the women tend to be more comfortable with our emotions, right? So we fill them up front right away. And we're oh, you know, maybe we're overwhelmed or we're just sad, it's very painful in the beginning. We just went out. We're like, whatever, whatever. Let's just like close the door. I don't want to anymore, I don't talk to you anymore, let's just be done. And I'm generalizing not all divorces are like this, but for those women, uh, what happens is they then live their life separately for like two, the average is like two or three months, and they already feel way better and lighter. And they always regret getting out so soon, compromising way too much, like giving just giving everything up just for the sake of getting away. And I want to be really clear. Sometimes that is the best move for you. Sometimes it's not worth whatever pain, violence, threat, aggression, anxiety is is happening to you. So I don't want to make anybody feel bad or down for making that decision for themselves. However, the stat about the regret is what really got my attention. And after going through this very complicated process, I myself, who I can handle anything, have felt I'm like, damn, no, I get it now. I get why people are like, forget it, like just whatever. I don't care anymore. Take everything, I'm out. So that's really where the meat is. I want buddies who will keep you resilient, help you when you're feeling low, help you when you want to give up, get you through those gaps.
SPEAKER_00:I want to say one little story that I have that's similar to this, but it's kind of a tough love story about divorce about this old friend of mine who he's been with his wife and it's a male, but she's leaving him. Okay, and he's very sad. And they have children together, and he's, you know, crying to me all the time, or he was about how sad he was, and he has all the support, and everyone just keeps telling him it's gonna be okay. He's just like, it's gonna be okay. I'm just gonna like be fair. And he's worked the whole time. She's never worked a day since they've been married. And I looked at him and I was like, it's not gonna be okay. It's gonna suck. Yeah. And guess what? It's gonna suck really bad. I'm like, I'm sorry, I know no one has told you this. Yeah, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop crying and get it together and get ready to fight. Because otherwise, you're gonna get screwed over and you're gonna regret it. You are better than this. Yeah. And he was just like shocked, and I was like, Oh, he's never gonna talk to me again. Why was I so mean? But then he texted me, he's like, Thank you so much. No one has told me that. Everyone just keeps telling me, Don't worry, it'll be okay. Feeling sorry for me. Did he not have a lawyer? He had a lawyer, but seems like it's a very weak lawyer. I told him to hire us instead.
SPEAKER_02:But um, what you just explained is candor. So it's instead of being nice and polite, you're being real, you're being honest. And there's warmth behind it. I mean, you gave a very blunt uh depiction, but I bet you were pretty like, I'm saying this because I want the best for you. Yeah. Like this is important and you need to hear it. That's candor. That's what all of my everything I do, that's what I want more of. Because it's again the simple example is like, are you gonna let your best friend walk around with stuff in their teeth because it's uncomfortable to say, oh hey, like you have something in your teeth? And are we so scared of someone feeling uncomfortable with us telling it's like ridiculous. It's like, no, you're gonna tell them because you care about them, like, yo, you look stupid. You snuck your teeth, have you? Go get it out, go get some flaws. And it's no different with strangers. I mean, they're going to appreciate you being honest. They might not react like that right away, and you have to be careful about how well you know someone and what you're you know being blunt about. But candor is the key to connection and like authentic connection with each other for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so now we're gonna play our game called red flag, green flag, and you got our glamorous flags. You see how bedazzled and bedazzled and sparkled, everything. Okay, so we're gonna bring up scenarios, and you're gonna tell us if, in your opinion, it's a red flag or a green flag and why. Got it. So the first scenario is you go through a divorce and cut yourself off from everyone because you don't want to be a burden.
SPEAKER_02:Biggest red flag in your life, divorce or otherwise, it all the stats are there. You absolutely have to stay connected. If anything, dig deeper into your community and ask for help more and just be prescriptive about it. Be like, I think I'm never gonna meet someone ever again. Can you tell me right now that I'm crazy? Go. And like that will literally help. You have to ask for help. You have to have community. You're not a burden. Everybody loves you. And go first. Have the courage to go first. Say you're not okay. That's it's refreshing. Nobody wants perfection from anyone.
SPEAKER_01:What if they don't want to be a burden on others, but become best friends with Chat GPT to be their therapist, tell them all those things? Red or green flag.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna say red because it's not a substitute. The loneliness they've done this. The loneliness does not uh diminish when you only speak to AI. It's gonna be talking to everybody, right?
SPEAKER_00:Umpamine hit.
SPEAKER_02:It's it's exactly that. It's dopamine. Walk outside, talk to the the lady talk walking her dog, talk to your barista, and say one more thing than you normally would. So if you would normally say like, good morning, say good morning, remind me what your dog's name is, and then it opens up the opportunity for like actual connection. His name is Randy. No way, my dad's name is Randy. Oh my gosh, really? Yeah, why did you name him that? And then look, you're connecting. And it doesn't have to be so level deep. It will help you just to feel like you're not completely isolated.
SPEAKER_01:We have another scenario for you. You join a support group, but it turns into constant vent session.
SPEAKER_02:I think that's fine. I think that's fine. I mean, processing part of processing is talking about it forever. It's like get it out, get it out, get it out. For a lot of people, that's how you process. So as long as you're not ignoring each other in between and just sort of going like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but listen to this, vent, vent, vent. I don't see a problem with that. Vent away. I think a lot of support groups, that's exactly what they're for.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so the last one, scenario three, you start making new friends who see you for who you are now, not who you were. But I'll add to that that all your old friends say, you've changed.
SPEAKER_02:I love it. I love it. You should change, you should evolve. This had to happen for you to break through to become the person like you really are meant to be, to live the life you really are meant for. Even if you haven't figured all that out yet, nobody at that, by the way, nobody does. Again, I work with women of literally every decade. Nobody knows what they're doing, nobody knows for sure what's next. So if you're moving and changing and growing and you found people that support that, hell yeah, hell yeah. Ebrace those people. I like to think about it like this. When you have a spray, I do this every season. When you clean out your closet to get things in order and feel clean, red, and like organized, what do you do first? You make a way bigger mess. You make a way bigger mess in your bedroom, your closet everywhere. You have to sort through them and figure out what you're keeping and what you're not, what serves you, what doesn't anymore. And then you can clear it all out and have a nice, lovely, redone closet that's organized and you're happy with and it's exactly what you wanted and needed. And maybe you even have space for more. So I take the park. The space for more in the closet. Same thing with your life. A lot of the times you have to make a bigger mess. Well your life's a mess. You gotta make a bigger mess to clear it up and to really distill it to be ready for you in this in this new chapter.
SPEAKER_00:I think for a long time, I personally, as I was growing and developing and changing, fought change. I thought you're not I wasn't supposed to change because I felt like I was gonna let everyone down. Because they expected me to be who I was, and I didn't want to change because of that. And eventually I realized and how I feel now is that you are going to be changing your entire life.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think you will ever, any 10 years, you'll be the same person you were 10 years before. And I think that's okay. And I think that the people who truly love you at your foundation, your foundation underneath it all, regardless of who you are, how much money you make, how you act, what kind of haircut you have, your foundation is the same. And the people who love you at your foundation are going to love you through your new eras in life.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and life changes and you have limited time to devote to limited causes. So sometimes it just becomes impossible or impractical, although you have love for those people in your heart. You just have no time to have that same close connection you had maybe before you had family or before you had a new business or multiple projects you're working on, right? You have to be selective with what matters now to both.
SPEAKER_00:I think keeping in mind with all of this, that like how I always think of it is one of the most tragic things about life, but also one of the most beautiful things about life is that no one gets out of it unscathed with trauma. No matter how much money or power they have, no matter where they are on any you know scale, that they are going to have some traumas. And I think we're all doing the best we can given who we are, the journeys we've lived, and the paths we've walked.
SPEAKER_02:And thriving after divorce. Let me tell you do it, have friends, get a buddy if you need it, join join the community. It'll be fine. It's gonna be great.
SPEAKER_00:For our glam tip this week, we are getting it directly from Ariel.
SPEAKER_02:Two last bits of advice. One, no matter what problem you're facing, whether divorce or otherwise, I promise you, if you do one thing every day, your life will change. Leave your house and talk to somebody. Leave your house every single day and talk to somebody. That will change everything. And um, the second, when I first started my divorce, I knew it was gonna be hard. And I was like, I gotta do something to make sure that my positivity, my natural positivity doesn't just get wrecked. So I said, okay, I'm going to do this thing for a year where I, if I have a compliment into my brain for anyone in the world in the wild, I'm going to give it to them. And so for a year, I would literally like pass by people on the street and be like, oh damn, like I love that purse. And I would pass. I'd be like, so I'd run back and say, hey, I just want to let you know I love your purse. And then I would keep walking. It was no big deal. But you will, it's sort of back to that altruism thing. If you all leave your house every day and you share every appropriate compliment that enters your mind, I promise you, you will feel like a different person in six months.
SPEAKER_00:Listen, if you're listening and you're in that place where you need support, reach out to Ariel's group, to a friend, or to us. You're not alone in this.
SPEAKER_01:That's it for today's episode of the Glamorous Grind. Don't forget to subscribe and follow us for behind the scenes moments.
SPEAKER_00:And if you've gone through divorce and found your own way to heal, we would love to hear your story. DM us or comment below.
SPEAKER_02:So if you want to get involved in my divorce buddy system, you can follow the link in the description of this show, and uh you'll join our newsletter and get all of the news updates. And when we launch officially, you'll be the first to know. Stay strong, stay glam, and remember you never have to grind alone.
SPEAKER_01:No pun intended.
